On February 17, 2015 (Mardi Gras Day) I went to my optometrist for my annual eye exam. After dilating my eyes, he saw something in my right eye that did not seem right. After asking me a few questions about if I had been seeing flashing lights or floaters, my doctor told me he thought I may have a detached retina and he wanted me to see an ophthalmologist as soon as possible. He got me an appointment for the next day. I researched what a detached retina could mean and I wasn't too worried. It seemed like something they could fix and I would be back to normal rather quickly.
On February 18th, 2015 I went to the ophthalmologist. He dilated my eyes and then ran a few tests that my optometrist did not. Finally he looked at me and said 3 words no one EVER wants to hear, "You have cancer." You can't begin to imagine the devastation and the confusion that was going through my mind at the time. I did not know you could get cancer in your eye. I asked him, "How did this happen? Am I going to lose my eye? How do they treat this?" He started off by telling me that this type of cancer (Choroidal Melanoma) is rare. Only about 6 in every one million people are diagnosed with it each year. He said it wasn't caused by anything I did or didn't do. They don't know what causes someone to contract this cancer. There are no true warning signs or symptoms. It is generally caught when a person goes in for their routine eye exam. In my case my vision was blurry in the affected eye and I had been having headaches a lot. The doctor said this tumor could be the cause of that.
Because this cancer is so rare, there are very view doctors that treat it. My ophthalmologist made me an appointment with two specialists in Memphis, Tennessee for March 17. I had to wait a MONTH to see the specialists! But first I had to have an MRI and a CT scan to make sure the cancer had not spread to any other parts of my body (mainly the liver, lungs, skin or brain.) All my scans came back showing the cancer was contained to my eye. HUGE sigh of relief! Now I just had to hurry up and wait. I spent a lot of that time researching the cancer and I was fortunate enough to find a support group to join online.
My appointments on March 17th were scary and humbling. The cancer diagnosis was confirmed and I was told the tumor is pushing against the optic nerve. I was given my choice of removing the eye completely or trying a procedure called plaque radiation. This procedure involves inserting a gold disk filled with radioactive seeds into the eye over the tumor. It is removed after 8 days. I was told I would have a 50/50 chance of losing the vision in the eye with this course of treatment. If I don't lose it, the vision will be reduced. Naturally I chose the radiation option. I have two young children (my daughter celebrated her 7th birthday yesterday). I would like to do everything I can to save the eye and the vision in that eye!
They will also do a biopsy on the tumor to determine how long it has been there and the odds of the cancer metastasizing somewhere else in my body. The liver is generally the first place it shows up and the survival rate for that type of cancer is not good. Hoping and praying that doesn't happen to me.
My radiation surgery is scheduled for April 14th at Methodist Hospital in Memphis. I will have to remain in Memphis the entire time the radiation is in my eye. That caused me some concern as well. Hotels are not cheap! Luckily the doctor told me they could get me a room at the American Cancer Society's Hope Lodge. It is a free place to stay for cancer patients who are coming in from out of town for treatment. Yet another huge relief. One less thing to worry about. Once the procedure is over, I will have to be checked every 6 months to see if the cancer has come back or spread. I will do this the rest of my life!
During the time from my diagnosis until now I have found myself stress eating again. I hate myself for it. I tried to wear shorts the other day and not a single pair that I wore last spring/summer would fasten. I literally sat on the floor and cried. Then I said to myself, "I don't' know why you are crying. You did this to yourself. Get off your ass and do something about it!" So as of Monday I have been drinking nothing but water or unsweetened tea. No more Diet Coke! (My hubby gave up soft drinks when he was diagnosed with diabetes and he has lost a ton of weight!) My breakfast is an EAS Advantage shake and lunch is a cup of cottage cheese, some raw carrots and broccoli, a handful of almonds and a cheese stick. For dinner I try to keep it light and healthy, but it is easier said than done. I'm trying to get at least 30-45 minutes on the elliptical every other day as well. I lost the weight before, I can do it again! I refuse to let cancer and stress ruin what I worked so hard to accomplish.
I don't know if anyone still reads this blog, but if you do, please keep me in your prayer. Radiation day is next Tuesday.